10-12-13

I just looked at my posts and the photo cations don't appear.  Sorry. I'll try to learn how to fix that.

Today I am resting in a gorgeous town of 5000.  Had to come back here yesterday in a taxi to see a doctor about my knee - easy and free for people over 65!  Thanks be the problem is tendinitis and not a torn ligament.  He spoke no English but was kind and patient with my broken and ungrammatical Spanish.  I had written down "trigeminal neuralgial" and  "oxcarbezepine" and he wrote a prescription on the spot which I filled down the street for one-third what I pay at home.  The pain has been intense so I definitely needed more and had worried some about running out.

My spiritual work recently has been to move my shame about not carrying my pack into humility.  I  now accepting my limitations and that I simply cannot walk with 15 or so pounds extra on my knee.  So be it.  I have also been realizing that along with shame, there was anger, anger at myself and at God.  But I had to laugh because the anger was because now I wouldn't have the pride I would have felt at carrying the pack all the way!  Pride is not exactly a virtue, is it?  What a lesson.  Then there's the envy to work on when I see people my age or older carrying their packs....

This is an inevitable part of the Camino - being confronted with your whole self.  Walking alone is in some ways like zazen, the solitude with no need to interact or respond to other people.  But the Camino is completely different from sesshin in that mornings and evenings I have the opportunity to be as social as I want to be, making new friends, reconnecting with old ones, listening to people's fascinating stories, sharing my own.  So the thoughts that clutter the mind during the day are about the immediate present, who I am today or yesterday, much more than in Zen practice.  

The other difference, of course, is stimulation.  In zazen one is minimizing stimulation by wearing plain, dark clothing and not meeting other people's eyes, only speaking to the teacher, facing the wall and so forth.  Here the landscape is constantly changing, everyone who passes says, "buen Camino" and there is warm conviviality at breakfast and dinner.  I love it.

I'll try a different way of posting photos now.

Lots of love, everyone,

Mary